A 25-year-old, freshly single, nanny with a mature but exciting social life. I had paid off my debt form my lavish life from my early 20’s and was eagerly working in PR and studying counselling. Then in an instant everything changed. Siren ring, police take notes, suddenly, the shouting had stopped, and things had stood still but only for a moment and then I was gone.
I was surprised when I didn’t cry when I got arrested or got questioned at the station, I was shocked I didn’t shed a tear as a got booked at the cells and when I didn’t even whimper when I got into my concrete room I was simply confused. Was it the fresh my medication, was I a psychopath, was I proud of what I had done? To be honest I think it’s a bit of all three.
Ritalin affects your brain and problem solving massively.
My feelings have always been a rollercoaster maybe I was always like this, just waiting for an opportunity to lash out.
Was I just proud something was happening? That after months of it being swept under the rug it was finally brought to light. Corrina’s voice was finally being heard. A solution had to be found.
Not 4 months ago I had completely stopped eating due to severe anxiety. Every day felt like a constant uphill battling the idea of the worst case scenario always happening. Yet here I am sitting in jail, calm as a whistle. Giggling to myself cause I had spent the last month joking that my life was a movie and now it really was. The plot was sickening, change of set and BIG main character energy as I slip into the villain/victim/hero.
A weekend in jail, the cells, a concrete room, a rugged tech detox, a weekend without human rights. No sunlight, no fruits, no vegetables, to connection, to creative release, simply you and your thoughts.
It was simply me and my thoughts (and the two books they let me read). So genre of thoughts I selected; delusional.
Everything is going to work out, we are learning and growing from this experience.
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