When I was a teenager I hid ‘issues.’ So desperate to be like everyone else. I’d avoid using my sister’s name when talking about authority. ‘I’ll ask her if I can come when I get home’ ‘i’ll call her now’ never her name. Why? I coulndn’t be bothered with the follow on question.
Who’s that? Why are you asking your sister? Where are your parents? Why don’t you live with them?
Then the pitty stare. The oh you poor thing.
It’s just boring. I wouldn’t even say it triggered me to the end I was just over the interaction. Everytime it was the same thing.
My sister though. God bless every inch of her. Wears hers like a badge of honour which i LOVE. I did that in my early 20’s -it’s a fun character to play –
Little miss i got money and i do what i want. Drinks ALOT.
Now I’m just processing them. I’m sitting with them. Understanding them releasing them. Releasing the fact that just because they left doesn’t mean I’ deserved it. Sometime it just happens. Sometimes people just leave or are removed. It hurts yes. But the connection hurt no?
One day I’ll feel safe it won’t feel so heavy. One day at a time I just give myself all the space in the world to heal? and little abandoned Cass can come and go and hopefully eventually move on.
Comments